Manchester United return to the Champions League on Thursday night for the first time in three seasons, hosting Azerbaijani debutants Sabah FK at Old Trafford in a Matchday 1 fixture that should, in theory, be a formality. On paper, this is the definition of a banker home win. In reality, if you have watched Manchester United this season, you already know why fans are refusing to relax until the final whistle actually blows.

Michael Carrick’s side arrive off the back of a 2-2 draw at Everton, a result that summed up their campaign so far in painful detail. United trailed 0-0 at half-time, took the lead through Bryan Mbeumo just after the restart, then somehow found themselves pegged back before substitute Benjamin Sesko restored the lead in the 88th minute.

Job done, surely. Except Ainsley Maitland-Niles popped up in the 96th minute to snatch a point for Everton and send United fans into their familiar late-season groan, six games early. Add in an earlier draw against newly promoted Hull City, and it is easy to see why the phrase “typical United” has been trending in football group chats all week.

That defensive fragility is exactly why this Sabah fixture has fans nervously joking that their own club will find a way to disappoint them, even against a team many had never heard of a month ago. United have won just one of their last nine Champions League matches, a statistic that would sound absurd for a club of this size if it were not depressingly accurate. The “United’s Coming” meme, a long-running joke about the club’s habit of promising a resurgence that never quite arrives, has already been dusted off across social media ahead of kickoff.

Sabah, to be fair, are not the pushover their name might suggest to the casual observer. Valdas Dambrauskas’s side stormed through qualifying, beating Hapoel Be’er Sheva on away goals after trailing the tie, and arrive on the back of a five-goal demolition of Zira FK in the Azerbaijani league, where Joy-Lance Mickels bagged a hat-trick. They have won three straight matches and top their domestic table with nine points from three games. This is not a team simply happy to make up the numbers at Old Trafford.

Still, the gap in resources and quality between the two clubs remains enormous, and most neutral observers expect United to get the job done, even if the manner leaves supporters chewing their nails to the bone. Bruno Fernandes, who has been directly involved in 15 goals across his last 19 Champions League appearances for the club, will carry the creative burden, with Mbeumo and Matheus Cunha expected to provide the attacking spark going forward.

The bigger concern, as always with this United side, is what happens at the other end. Sabah have scored freely in qualifying and clearly do not lack confidence heading into their first ever Champions League league phase match. If they nick an early goal and Old Trafford turns restless, the kind of collapse United fans have grown to dread this season becomes a very real possibility.

Expect goals, expect nerves, and if recent history is anything to go by, expect at least one moment where United fans reach for their phones to type some version of “here we go again.”
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